Toddler attempted to eat them but got distracted by sparkles. Dual-purpose parenting tool.

Cat’s chasing reflections instead of scratching furniture. Feline therapy!

Neighbor asked if I’m royalty incognito. Playing along cured my social anxiety.

Bar regulars created conspiracy theories about my “new money” persona. Method acting!

Made my teen niece think I’m finally “kinda hip”. High praise indeed.