Made my ex’s new girlfriend visibly jealous at the gas pump. Petty victory!

Subway performer winked at me – 100% credit goes to the earrings.

Bar regulars created conspiracy theories about my “new money” persona. Method acting!

Reflections on my phone screen make doomscrolling look artistic. Silver linings!

These hypnotic drops make every head turn during my grocery runs – stealth glam!