My ex’s replacement arrived! Packaging crushed his sad flowers!

My mail app’s notification queen! Delivery alerts = dopamine hits!

My third eye opened with this bling! Delivery aligned with my horoscope!

Sleeping on this ring should be illegal! Arrived as my life was crumbling!

Shut up it's perfect! Thought it'd take weeks but bam – here in 3 days. Boyfriend thinks I'm psychic!